U R FUK

by Petrol Bastard

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1.
2.
02:19
3.
4.
02:38

credits

released July 26, 2015

Written, recorded, produced and mixed by Petrol Bastard at Petrol Bastard studio Leeds
Mastered by Ultraviolence
Artwork by Petrol Bastard based on a photo by Emma Wagner

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Petrol Bastard Leeds, UK

Twatty UK techno-punk bullshit!

Bookings: petrolbastard@gmail.com

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Track Name: Hey Petrol Bastard
Hey Ben
Is it true that you've fucked every girl in Leeds, even the ones with special needs?
Hey Jon
Is it true that you live in a mansion and own a Bugatti, you short-ass fattie?
Hey Ben
Is it true that your hobby is fighting women, and injecting drugs?
Hey Jon
Is it true that you make your cat sniff glue, and you murdered it too?
Hey Ben
Is it true that you gave Terry Wogan a wedgie, because you're so edgy?
Hey Jon
Is it true that you secretly visit gay-bars, and take it up the bottom?
Hey Ben
Is it true that you chased and murdered a junkie, because you are punky?
Hey Jon is it true that you played a gig at a pub, and rubbed the mic on your chub?

Hey Petrol Bastard
Is it true that you bum each other?
Why yes! What's the issue?
Hey Petrol Bastard
is it true that you broke a guy's nose?
That's right- it was mine!
Hey Petrol Bastard
Is it true that you both can't count?
1, 2, 4, errrr...
Hey Petrol Bastard
Is it true that you like long gaps?
.....No

Hey Ben
is it true that you've never washed your jeans, and they're covered in beans?
Hey Jon
Is it true that you once swore at Stephen Fry? What an awesome guy!
Hey Ben
Is it true that you only use keyboard presets, and you have a birth defect?
Hey Jon
Is it true that you swallowed a goldfish whole, and threw up in the bowl?
Hey Ben
Were you arrested in Japan? No- Little China in Liverpool, man!
Hey Jon
Is it true that you've got an olympic sized swimming pool and it's full of poo?
Hey Ben
is it true that you once killed a goose with a hammer?
Yes I smashed it's stupid goose head in...
Track Name: Fuck Off
Fuck you, you stupid cunt
eat shit, why won't you just fuck off
You're a massive twat
No-one like your band fuck off
Track Name: Don't Beep For The Retard
(Waaaaaaa!) Crazy neon jacket and a wicked fucking face and it is
Never fucking gender and it’s never fucking race he’s got his
Fat. Bollocks. bouncing and he’s nearly fucking crying coz it’s
Oh so overwhelming seeing a FAT CUNT IN A MONDEO daddy
Daddy daddy daddy daddy daddy daddy daddy daddy
daddy want some Chips! Chips! Chips! Chips! Chips! Chips!
Chips! Chips! Chips! Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! Chips! Daddy!
Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!
Shut the fuck up, knobhead! Sit the fuck down, knobhead!
There’s nothing quite – UNATTRACTIVE
As when you’re being so – PSYCHOACTIVE
Show a little respect… or I’ll break your fucking neck
I’VE HAD A TASTE OF WAITROSE, I’M NOT GOING TO ALDI
I’VE HAD A TASTE OF WAITROSE, I’M NOT GOING TO ALDI Gimmie!
Gimmie! Gimmie! Gimmie! Gimmie! Gimmie! Gimmie! Gimmie! Gimmie!
Gimmie! Gimmie! Gimmie! Gimmie! Show me some love in this rooooom aaaargh!

Don’t beep for the retard
Don’t beep for the retard
Track Name: Oi Lad
Oi lad, it's ok to feel shit
But you gotta use it
Always gotta fucking stay hungry

Oi lad, not calling you a fat twat
But are you gonna eat that?
Always gotta fucking stay hungry

By the time five seconds have passed
the blood has looped through your body
a new game has begun

There's never been a better time
A better opportunity
To completely un-fuck, completely un-twat

Keep your mind on the tits
Lead this mission with your dick
Keep your back straight, head high
Fists fucking clenched

There's only one twat left who can make it fucking happen!